


I Don't Want to Be Living to See Him With Another Man

by HimikoToga



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 12:25:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18165179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HimikoToga/pseuds/HimikoToga
Summary: But it was hard. It's hard to move on. It's hard being a kid and growing up. It's hard nobody understands.





	I Don't Want to Be Living to See Him With Another Man

It's not like Nazuna officially broke up with Shu. He just assumed Shu just got the message. Still, even if he left his unit he expected Shu to keep loving him. What a selfish thought he had.

And it was a thought setting him up for disaster. Did he fail to think of how Shu could find solace in someone else? No, he knew Shu would continue to love him no matter what, he had always been so focused on Nazuna that it'd be hard to believe he'd ever love another. Nazuna was almost cocky in such a thought line.

So when he found Shu sitting outside with Mika laying his head in Shu's lap Nazuna could hardly believe it. Those same fond eyes that always looked at him where now looking at someone else. He could hear Shu singing some sort of lullaby to Mika, trying to help him drift off to sleep. For a moment everything froze, surely this was some sort of nightmare. 

Shu and him may not be on speaking terms, in Shu's eyes Nazuna had abandoned him, but to move on so quickly, why that was cruel. Shu may have been the best thing Nazuna ever had, but his pampering soon led to obsession. It didn't mean Nazuna hated him, just that he needed space. Did Shu not understand that? 

What Shu may or may not have understood wasn't important right now as Nazuna watched Mika reach up to cup his cheek and Shu smiled. Shu never smiled when someone touched him except Nazuna. It was sort of a pride point, that Shu brushed everyone off but him, those fond eyes belonged to Nazuna, didn't they? So why was he looking at someone else with them.

Anything Nazuna thought to say was caught in his throat. He had no right to call out to Shu over this. Shu was in all right to move on, to fall in love with someone who stayed with him, but it was hard. It was hard to watch someone you love move on. It's hard to watch them treat someone the way they used to treat you, to sing them the songs they used to sing to you. Nazuna wondered how far their relationship went, if Shu cuddled up to Mika the way he used to cuddle with Nazuna, holding his head up against Shu's heart so the rhythm of it lulled Nazuna to sleep. Did they duck out of view before concerts and kiss like Shu used to do with him? 

The softness of Shu's lips rose to the top of Nazuna's mind as he witnessed Shu press a kiss to Mika's palm. While there was no way Shu would do that to Nazuna anymore he couldn't help but selfishly wish that he didn't have to see Shu with another man. 

Nazuna flashed back to their first year where Shu sat across from him at a table at a café, swearing that he'd only love Nazuna and Nazuna scoffed, saying that Shu was too clingy. How Nazuna wished he could accuse Shu of lying now. The words bubbled in his throat, but nothing came to fruition. He was just an unfortunate voyeur, watching the boy he couldn't stop loving despite their distance fall in love with someone who oh-so-foolishly chased Shu down. 

Maybe it was meant to be. Shu may have jumped out a window for Nazuna, but Mika enrolled in a school and joined a unit just because he met someone once. Nazuna couldn't offer up Shu's dedication and especially not Mika's. Maybe the two belonged together, both so strong willed and willing to chase love down.

Nazuna turned away from the scene where Shu was now running his hand through Mika's hair, looking down at him with a smile. He headed towards the lockers to switch out his shoes only to find a note taped there. He recognized the handwriting in an instant, it was the beautiful cursive of Shu's. Scanning the note over, he couldn't believe what was written. 

"With the distance put between us," Nazuna read for what felt like the thousandth time, "I've decided to move on, like I assume you wanted me too." But Nazuna didn't want him to move on, for some reason. "I've fallen in love again, I hope you'll wish me happiness in the future."

He scrunched the note up in his hand and threw it in the nearest trashcan. Cleary Shu had moved on, he must sleep peacefully at night in Mika's arms, but Nazuna didn't want to acknowledge it. Nazuna found a new place in Ra*bits, moved on from his life in Valkyrie. It was only natural Valkyrie moved on without him, he just didn't expect them to move on in each other's arms.

Pressing his back up against the lockers Nazuna slid down, wrapping his arms around his knees. They had all moved on, he thought, so why did it hurt seeing Shu so happy with someone else? He should be happy for him, it's even what Shu asked of him, but his heart still ached. 

Is this the pain of first love, Nazuna thought, a pain that strikes deep within your heart and splits it to its core. It must be. What else could hurt this much? 

He closed his eyes, yet even behind his eyelids he still saw the way Shu smiled at Mika. Like he had found home in his arms. Nazuna wondered if Shu had ever looked that content with him. He must've, Nazuna reassured himself, he must've loved me more than words can say. But that's what made seeing him fall in love with someone else hurt the most. 

What right does he have to be upset, Nazuna wondered. What right does a so called traitor have to feel neglected? To miss the feeling of Shu's embrace and the way he whispered "I love you more than words can say," in Nazuna's ear. He had no right, yet he still did. It wasn't fair of him to wish that Shu stayed stuck on him forever, or even to wish that he got to move on first. 

But it was hard. It's hard to move on. It's hard being a kid and growing up. It's hard nobody understands. 

Nazuna could only wish Shu and Mika the best.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this softcore hurt.


End file.
